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Hatred & Grief

by Joy

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1.
The story starts this way Up in the whirl and sway I ambled through the rise and fall Of countries and their kings To tell you that my hope is feigned I forced a nervous smile I lied when my turn came I suffered through the hollering Of anthem singers as they sang And when they were done I was changed
2.
Discombobulation, steer clear of me I am already the one who wails With hatred and grief And fumbles in darkness for something to say My sweet and sober days have wasted away All of them curdled, twilit and gray A vague, sinister notion Burns like a bellyache through the night Flickering in troubled sleep Making star-shaped holes In American flags and in me And I’m down on the curb Thinking not enough’s false And not enough’s free Me with the watered down blood Me with the lids tugging lead Me in a moment of doubt Fearing the heart and the head Are also at war
3.
In the garden when I spied you through the vines And every beast was still And every longing unaccounted for, My hope was bottomless How fast I would return To that wicked hole
4.
You left your laughing Behind the cushions Of this old, beat up couch And in the light bulbs And VCR wires It makes me serious
5.
dm - guitar md - drums
6.
Motored 03:30
When you motored And the potholes filled with August rain, I was black as swamp water in the dead of night California was just another myth That sizzled on the lips of liars, fakes and idiots When you hollered And the words made bitter news, Purple settled in a brand new aching bruise North Carolina was just another noun That made a sweet new sound But meant something dangerous When you motored And my gullet filled with smoke, Doubt rattled in me all the long way home Massachusetts, softened by the squall That washed over us all, Was just a dark slick in the road
7.
Untitled #2 02:26
Stab at your discontent sweetly Try on the perfect head Collapse the unbearable bulges Where character is kept And I will still love you If you cave in or flake out You’re sweet as clementine There’s no contour quite severe enough To quell my urges Smell me want you Smell me desperately And I will pass through your gates Like faint perfume Make new scars for me
8.

about

Recorded by Joy on 1/4" 8-track and by Nick Z on infinite-track digital. Mixed by Joy and Nick Z.

MS - Vocals
DM - Guitars, Bass, Keys, Lap Steel
AR - Guitars, Bass, Lap Steel
MD - Drums

With:
Nick Zampiello—Keys on track 2

credits

released May 1, 2004

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Joy Boston, Massachusetts

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