1. |
Madonna, Sean & Me
04:31
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2. |
Untitled
04:29
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Weird to pack up our things
And make for new adventures
Hack me a bit part
A little slab of your history
And I’ll be the most durable ornament
You ever stuck to your
Emotional refrigerator
You reduce me to paste
Every time you flash your teeth
You show up in dim dreams
I half remember
And swear could kill me yet
Fan-frigging-tastic to sag from
The ideal course of action
And dabble in more precarious options
It suits me, this kitchen between theory and experience
Where love is prepared from scratch
And overpowered by a bitter garnish
That can’t ruin the fingerful you plucked
From the batter bowl, the sneaky clutch
So though we all starve in secret
We are forever fattened by that memory
It’s time we stopped soaping ourselves with hope
And go dirty into that great big day of lack and thunder
I feel it now
Don’t you ever even think about it?
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3. |
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In the garden when I spied you through the vines
And every beast was still
And every longing unaccounted for,
My hope was bottomless
How fast I would return
To that wicked hole
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4. |
Hatred & Grief
04:39
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Discombobulation, steer clear of me
I am already the one who wails
With hatred and grief
And fumbles in darkness for something to say
My sweet and sober days have wasted away
All of them curdled, twilit and gray
A vague, sinister notion
Burns like a bellyache through the night
Flickering in troubled sleep
Making star-shaped holes
In American flags and in me
And I’m down on the curb
Thinking not enough’s false
And not enough’s free
Me with the watered down blood
Me with the lids tugging lead
Me in a moment of doubt
Fearing the heart and the head
Are also at war
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5. |
Pulverized
03:56
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I was pulverized but now I worm to square one, baby
I was dusted off the muck-soaked, ill lit, danger-fraught
Terrain of way too much time and spared
If there’s time tonight to reassess the situation
Then there’s time at least to pick a new direction
One might slouch in or dare slink toward
The place in me where sluices constrict abominable change
Is softer around the edges and likely to give way
To the gruesome flow
What sickness is this that stomps up and down my spine?
A dream that you were in
I was severed at the patience required to adjust
I was hanging from a staple stuck in someone else’s confidence and beached
Now the currents have claimed a bathing suit or two
But the skin boasts more resilience than it’s given credit for
Or is rumored to have sacrificed to shame
The least likely things to bully me into unexpected exile
Have cost me my worst habits
And jimmied open wounds that can’t hurt me now
What sickness is this?
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6. |
Laughter Storage
02:14
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You left your laughing
Behind the cushions
Of this old, beat up couch
And in the light bulbs
And VCR wires
It makes me serious
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7. |
Seawater Kisses
01:56
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When summer comes
It drips down your neck
And settles in your sneakers
It hangs in the sir
Like something you never should have said
It fizzes on the tarmac
And sweats in your hands
And falls from your mouth
In a gust of sand and sailboats
That leaves salt water on your lips
When I kiss you in the summer
Seagulls howl and whirl in our mouths
Our mouths have wings of their own
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8. |
My Favorite Parking Lot
03:38
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Still groggy from the sun
That beat with the bulk
Of a thousand things to do
On my skin
I got into the car
I rolled the window down
Let’s stay
I’d rather sit here forever
In this parking lot
With the sand and broken glass carpet
And the teenager who took our money
And the afternoon that made us sleepy
Than move an inch toward the highway
That aims us at the mainland
And sneaks us home
Through the fingers of temptation
Pointing in the opposite direction
Out at the ocean
That spit at us all day
And stuck to
Our hair, our clothes,
Our reunion that’ll end by the side of the car
With your bags arranged inside
And my head full of the wind
That blew across our very own parking lot
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9. |
Magma Pump
03:34
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My hands are fat tarantulas hunting along your spine
My tongue a howler monkey barking
Lurching from the back of your mouth to the back of mine
From vine to vine
My legs are flopping squids beached upon your burning bed
My eyes two cobras coiled in the cold wet sockets
Guarders of the image of you in my head from what we said
About what we would and wouldn’t do
About who we would and wouldn’t see
You and me
My lips are Venus flytraps bent toward your skinny neck
My balls are birds’ nests crowded with chirping of little mouths
Who zoom toward little deaths
Fly into the wreck
My arms are schools of fish that rocket across all your skin
My heart a bear pumping magma into all the places
Where I end and you begin, into what we said
About what we would and wouldn’t do
About who we would and wouldn’t see
You and me
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10. |
Wave Of Mutilation
02:19
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11. |
Something
02:34
|
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Something gets me by the throat
Every time I go to tell you I’m nervous
And that there is no time to
Scrounge for parameters
And stuff ourselves into them
And I’ll be fine here
Not knowing how I relate to anything
Or when to shut my mouth and prevail
Over the tendency to dramatize and overemphasize
Each passing thought as they occur to me
Sitting at home with a book and a drink and a cigarette
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12. |
Hammers & Hail
03:50
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There is always a source of sadness here
Irrigated by a block or two of city storefront
Where your ghost still hangs in doorways
And awning shade
Always a song swimming in nausea
Dragging behind it those poisoned scenes
Always a motor purring
Where your eager keys have found the notch
And snuck inside
Blow your breath across my cheek and go
The fists are made
The wounds are counted
All the irony will grow unnoticeable
I will grow unnoticeable
Sick and bulging with words
To remind you of everything with
And sudden fogs and trembling
On the corners of streets
And up the sides of buildings
Stuck in this place like arrows
Pinning it to every speck of dread
That passes between us
Always a secret spoiled
Wrestled from a deep and deadly sleep
Always a night obscured by fireworks
That sizzle and decay before our eyes
One last look
Then back into the car
A stretch of road
A beach we found under the snow
A look that lasts a thousand years
Hammers and hail against me
A secret patch of brain
To remember everything with
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Joy Boston, Massachusetts
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